Single Gal Breaking Out...

Ahhh the love life of a single girl....some days I am so happy and content being single. I can come home to silence. I can do what I want, when I want. I can be super messy and vow to clean tomorrow. I can leave dishes in the sink and my shoes by the door. You get the picture. Other days I think it'd be nice to have someone at home waiting for me to get home. It'd be lovely to have someone light the fire, because even though it's idiot-proof I still think I'm gonna blow up. Either way, the grass is always greener on the other side, right? And I'm weird about relationships; they tend to bring out the worst in me. Nonetheless, I'm finally putting my fabulous single self back out there--starting this week!!! I have my first REAL first date this week, and as exciting as that is, it's very, very scary. Guys aren't ranked very highly on my list these days. They're generally pretty awful. They lie and cheat. But I'm putting faith in the man upstairs that perhaps I just haven't found the right one. SOOOOO here's to taking that very terrifying first step towards finding a man that's not so awful and grotestque!! Wish me luck friends...

Hallelujah

Are there songs out there that are like magic to you? "Ave Maria" and Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" are two of my all time favorites. They have been just a few of the songs playing in the background tonight. This has been a night of deep and profound reflection. I'm writing a paper for grad school, and it's turned out to be this amazing gift. My paper tells the story of my journey into Darkness. It details the why, the how, the when, and all the things everyone else saw but me. And the ending...I'm getting to that part where I come out of the Darkness and find that I'm this strong, resilient woman who didn't break after all.

Here are some of the lyrics from Jeff Buckley's masterpiece:

baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

well maybe there's a God above
but all I've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah